The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.
NOTE: The excerpt below is from the 7/17/08 BOTW archives.
Help Wanted
“Police Seek Two for C&W Network Robbery”–headline, TheRegister.co.uk, July 17
News of the Tautological
“Low-Cost Flights a Hit With Budget Travelers”–headline, Kyiv (Ukraine) Post, July 16
News You Can Use
“Trust Me, Toe Injuries Can Be Annoying”–headline, Kentucky Standard (Bardstown), July 16
The World’s Smallest Violin
Addison Herron-Wheeler is “a rising freshman at Virginia Commonwealth University,” according to the author’s bio at the end of his column in the Fredericksbug Free Lance-Star. To judge by his current employment, there’s no way to go but up:
It never fails: Murphy’s Law. When applying for jobs, the one place you do not want to call you back inevitably will. I encountered this annoying fact applying for jobs in Richmond, when I landed one at the local Subway.
Of all the interesting, vibrant-looking places in my area that I could have worked, this was definitely my last choice. But the only other places I had wanted to work told me it would be a few weeks or months, and I had to have something ASAP so that I could pay the rent.
Trouble is, he “failed to take into account” his “inability to function in this kind of a situation” and his “disdain for the restrictions that come with employment at any fast-food restaurant”:
First of all, some of my co-workers whom I met later are not exactly savory. They are much older than me and don’t seem to respect me at all, even though I am doing my best to comply with their every wish and to be the best employee I can be. The management also demands that I remove my lip rings while working–which is ridiculous considering how many people with piercings I serve every day. This makes things a bit difficult due to the fact that I don’t have the extra money right now to go out and buy spacers to put in the holes while I’m at work.
He also loathes “all the evil that I see in the fast-food industry,” which he complains is “wasteful and goes against even the most basic environmental practices.” There’s too much packaging, and workers aren’t allowed to take home spoiled food. “In short, it is all about the profit and not about the overall good of society.”
On the other hand, it strikes us that it’s awfully generous of Subway to let such a malcontent keep working there, especially when he badmouths the company to the vast readership of the Free Lance-Star. Incidentally, if he does find a job in an establishment that allows him to wear his lip rings by serving food, we hope he writes another column about it, so we’ll know to avoid the place.
For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”
