The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

How Do You Make an Elephant Float? 8 Oz. Soda, 2 Scoops Ice Cream, 1 Elephant.
“PETA Says Glendale Invites ‘National Embarrassment’ With Circus Elephant Float”–headline, ReutRCohen.com, Oct. 13

Questions Nobody Is Asking
“Why Is There So Much Mud in South Carolina?”–headline, Roll Call, Oct. 18

Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control
” ‘Occupiers’ Killing Stimulus-Funded Sod in D.C.”–headline, Washington Examiner website, Oct. 17

News of the Tautological
“76ers Officially Sold to New Owners”–headline, Associated Press, Oct. 18

News You Can Use
“Corpus Christi to Reinstate Free Opossum Pickup Service”–headline, Corpus Christi (Texas) Caller-Times, Oct. 18

Spreading the Wealth Around
If you don’t laugh out loud at this New York Post report, you have no heart:

Occupy Wall Street protesters said yesterday that packs of brazen crooks within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators blind, making off with pricey cameras, phones and laptops–and even a hefty bundle of donated cash and food.

“Stealing is our biggest problem at the moment,” said Nan Terrie, 18, a kitchen and legal-team volunteer from Fort Lauderdale.

“I had my Mac stolen–that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen, so the first thing I had to do was . . . get the message out to our supporters that we needed food!”

Oh heavens no! Krugman’s Army has been infiltrated by people who don’t believe in property rights!

Meanwhile, the Hill reports that the World’s Greatest Orator was also a target for theft:

A truck carrying President Obama’s teleprompter, podiums and audio equipment was stolen on Monday but quickly recovered, according to an NBC12 news outlet in Richmond, Va.

The truck, which was carrying around $200,000 in audio and video equipment, was taken from the Virginia Center Commons Courtyard Marriott, and recovered around 12:30 p.m. Monday at the Holiday Inn Express near the Richmond airport.

Someone was just trying to spread the wealth around, we reckon.

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”