Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control

Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control
“Magnetic North Pole Shifts, Forces Runway Closures at Florida Airport”–headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 6

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
“Police Find Drunk Man at Church”–headline, Free Lance-Star (Fredericksburg, Va.), Jan. 6

…Tell No Tails
London’s Daily Telegraph reports on a nasty court fight over cat litter:

Church & Dwight has filed a lawsuit in a New York court against Clorox, whose adverts show cats deciding to using its Fresh Step litter instead of Church & Dwight’s Super Scoop product.

A voice-over claims cats choose Fresh Step rather than Super Scoop because they are “smart enough to choose the litter with less odours” and “know what they like.”

“Fresh Step Scoopable litter with carbon is better at eliminating litter box odours than Arm & Hammer Super Scoop,” it adds.

Church & Dwight’s lawsuit states: “Cats do not talk and it is widely understood in the scientific community that cat perception of malodor is materially different than human perception.”

If Clorox wants to dispute Church & Dwight’s allegation that “cats do not talk,” it might check out this story from London’s Metro newspaper: “Is Lucy, 39, the World’s Oldest Cat? She may be deaf and a bit stiff in the morning but when you consider Lucy the moggy has just turned 39, it’s understandable.”

If cats didn’t talk, how would Lucy lie about her age?

Lucky Number?
Britain’s Young Women’s Christian Association “has changed its name, losing the clearest link to its Christian roots,” London’s Daily Mail reports. The YWCA “dropped its historic title after 156 years because ‘it no longer stands for who we are’ “:

Instead the organisation–which is mainly funded by legacies left by Christian supporters over 15 decades–will be known as “Platform 51.”

Bosses say the name was chosen to reflect the fact that 51 per cent of people are female and that they can use the charity as a platform “to have their say” and “to move to the next stage of their lives.”

The name sounded familiar, and finally we realized why: One of the euphemisms for the Ground Zero mosque is “Park 51.” We have no idea what this means, but there are only 90 two-digit numbers, so the likelihood of two organizations coming up with the same one randomly is barely 1%.

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