The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

1. Become Governor of South Carolina. 2. Take a Hike.
“Ten Ways You Can Be Involved in Foreign Affairs”–headline, State Department website, May 6

When You See Only One Set of Footprints . . .

  • “High School Track Team Disqualified From State Championships After Runner Celebrated With ‘Thanks to God’ Hand Gesture”–headline, Daily Mail (London), May 4
  • “German Shoe Company Named ‘Atheist’ Having Problems Shipping Packages to the U.S. (Maybe It’s an Act of God)”–headline, Daily Mail, May 3

It Was Released on Its Own Recognizance 
“Harmless Mold Found in Downtown El Paso Jail”–headline, El Paso Times, May 4

Alaska Has a Volcano in Ohio? 
“Low-Level Eruption at Alaska’s Cleveland Volcano”–headline, Associated Press, May 4

News of the Tautological 
“Orthodox Easter Celebrated Sunday”–headline, TribLive.com (suburban Pittsburgh), May 3

image918Bottom Story of the Day
“Al Gore Isn’t Overly Pleased With Canada”–headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), May 4

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.